max brixton = captain jack harkness

Ahh. From a professional standpoint, really don't recommend accidental suicide by way of the London Eye. Attracts a lot of unwanted attention. I may have to change my name now.

Bollocks.

.... Janet really doesn't like the Spice Girls. Or S Club. Or Girls Aloud. Blimey, these shitting weevils have no bloody taste.

Yeah, that's right, kids, lookit me! Makin' my New Year's resolutions early, like the complete boss that I am. By this time next year, I resolve to have equaled or topped every single unusual death on this extremely helpful list of unusual deaths. I can do this, because I am immortal. Fuck yeah.

However, I am also lazy, irresponsible, and more or less incompetent. Long term resolutions? Not really my style. Take note, ladies and gents. I will not have your babies. Even if the resulting child would be more beautiful than Jesus Christ himself.

Oh, right, I'm Max. He's Captain Jack. Anyone fancy a drink?

( Before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of Torchwood? )